Mr. Sasquatch Goes Hunting

One day Mr. Sasquatch was going to hunt for dinner. So, rather then being animal like, he grabbed an Uzi and a beer. After getting all liquored up he walked into the forest and started firing off rounds at nothing in particular.  He continued firing, failing to notice the obvious rabbit hole in front of his feet.

After firing off at least three rounds, none other than Bugs Bunny popped out of the hole with a way overused greeting "What's up Doc?"
Mr. Sasquatch, being a man of little intelligence after consumption of alcohol, holstered his gun and replied with one word.

"No, I am not just a bunny, I am a hair. Now, you shouldn't go around..." Bug's began, but then, out of no where, popped another creature, this one slightly stranger. The Lorax!

 

After his eyes popped out of his head from shock, picked up, and popped back in Loony Toons style, Bugs said "Where did you even come from? In fact, I don't remember a tree stump either!"

"I am the Lorax, I come as a please, and now, I will shake your hand with my knees." The Lorax replied plainly.

"Do you just sit in your home coming up with rhymes that don't make any since whatsoever?" Bugs belched.

"No, that was harsh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the marsh. By the way do you have any cash? I'm broke and the bus is $3.50." The Lorax said. "Anyway, I think you are just angry that without your old writer, you are just like Daffy!" He continued.

"Ok, but this is my turf, I can handle this." Bugs shouted.

Mr. Sasquatch wondered what the weird mushrooms he ate prior to the experience were. He also wondered why he was watching these two meaty creatures argue instead of shooting them.

"Fine, I will do my business and leave. You see Mr. Sasquatch, in your drunken rage, you shot down all the Swomee-Swans! Now they can't fly away from the Onceler and his putrid puke! And the Brown Bar-Ba-Loots are covered in blood, it appears you shot off their little boots! The Humming Fish are dead like fish in a barrel! What has you to say for yourself Mr. Sasquatch?" The Lorax said.

"Bunnnnyy....." Mr. Sasquatch replied.

"Ok Mr. Sasquatch, you have no reason to listen to this pot-head who calls himself the Lorax, there is no such thing as a Swomee-Swan or a Humming-Fish!" Said Bugs.

"Fine, if you don't appreciate my presence here, I will leave. But be warned..." And with that, the Lorax lifted his rump and was gone.

"Now, Mr. Sasquatch, are you going to..." Bugs began before 17 bullets landed in his head.

Then, Mr. Sasquatch walked home, dragging his dinner behind him. "I love rabbit stew." Said Mr. Sasquatch before taking a big bite.



The morale of this story is "Never argue next to a man with a gun."